When Dad acts like shit.

I am easily annoyed and a lot of things annoy me, however, I realized that I grow to like some of these annoying things. I can’t think of examples right now. But there’s this one thing that will ALWAYS annoy the fuck out of me and I know will never grow to fucking love.

When my dad’s pissed about little things, I get pissed. And when I’m pissed because of him, I let him know. I don’t tell him, I show him. And because of this, he gets pissed even more and I get pissed even more. Fuckin’ hell.

Okay so here’s a little background of me and my Dad so you know I’m not being a little brat and he’s not being a twit. My Dad and I are tight. We’re buddies. I can mock him, he can mock me. I call him names, he calls me names. I can gossip about things with him, he does the same. Except lovey dovey feelings, that’s just weird. Okay, you get it, we’re quite close. So when he’s pissed and takes it out on me and I don’t even know why, shit’s about to get down.

He has this attitude and this look when he’s pissed. He starts judging everything and will find little fucking things to complain about in the house. I HATE that. So when he’s annoyed about shit and continues to give the whole family attitude I think, fine, let me annoy you more.

See, when someone in the family is irritated, the rest of us try to cheer that person up. We make lots of jokes, we offer them juice or water or whatever, we let them lie on the sofa and make them feel special, but when none of that works and when they’re STILL giving the WHOLE family attitude then we just leave them the fuck alone.

And when the royal treatment doesn’t work on Dad then I get pissed. I answer with sarcastic replies or just laugh really loud when he tells me to do something. I give him “duh” answers and “that did not make any sense” eyebrows and “can you shut up” lips. And he becomes worse. And I become worse. Ugh.

Dad’s actually the only person I can irritate even more and make fun of when pissed. I can’t do that with anyone else. Because with Dad, I know he’ll come round and be alright and we’ll both be like, “yeah, so we cool again? Sweet. Here, have some coconut juice.” I can’t really trust other people to do that. Dad’s pretty cool. But fuck, he can be so annoying.

Dads can be such assholes.

I guess I’ll have to answer them myself.

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I’m watching FRIENDS. Rachel’s on a date with someone but she’s going on about Ross with his new girlfriend, Julie, and their cat. Rachel just borrowed some man’s phone. Doesn’t she have her own?

“Ross, hi, it’s Rachel. I’m just calling to say that um, everything’s fine and I’m really happy for you and your cat who, by the way, I think you should name Michael. And, you know, ya see there I’m thinking of names so obviously, I am over you. I am over you and that, my friend, is what they call closure.”

Peeyano talk.

I play the piano and I do love it now but can I just say that I hated it. I was forced by my Mom to learn at the age of six or seven and she would get really angry with me if I didn’t practice. Lol, your typical Asian parent. I’m kidding.

Well, if I think about it, I didn’t really hate the piano and the practices, I hated the fact that my lessons were sort of boring. You know when you start out with the piano you just play around middle C and the very first notes you play sometimes are just C C C C. Yeah, I hated that. I always asked my teacher when the real thing was going to start, you know? When would I actually start playing like a pro and go all nuts with the keys here and there? Can I even use everything? Like the black keys and the whites? Can I play them at the same time? And she would just calmly tell me that I’d get there… with more practice, of course. Oh my god, it felt like forever. 

I remember refusing to practice because I told my mom it was the same thing and it was useless. I told her I’d just be playing middle C again and she told me off! My Mom got angry at me for telling her piano lessons were useless. She wouldn’t let me off the seat until I practiced for an hour. I fell asleep on top of our piano that afternoon because, LORD, I hated it so much at that point. 

And then I had my very first recital. I wore a very pretty, shiny, black dress with my hair and some make up done. I felt so proud. And after I played that was it; that was when my love for the piano… blossomed, bloomed, developed. I loved looking pretty and having people compliment me after the performance. Sometimes, I get really nervous and make mistakes, which I’d hate myself for, but the pep talks and encouraging words were nice.

So yeah, now I’m teaching piano lessons to kids - although I got more adults wanting to learn. I’m more interested in teaching the level zero people because I know how hard and boring it is starting to learn the piano… unless you really, really want to, you know? So yeah, I’m just that little boost of encouragement and fun you need to learn this instrument. 

I want my music students to call me Miss Barbosa.

“Miss Barbosa,” they will say, “when will I start playing like a pro?”

“Right now,” and then I teach them a really simple, fun song and they’ll feel like a pro. And then they’ll get better and without knowing actually turn into pros and I’ll watch them play their first recital and be oh so proud.

Best day ever.